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The authors of the New York Times bestseller Crucial Conversations show you how to achieve personal, team, and organizational success by healing broken promises, resolving violated expectations, and influencing bad behavior Discover skills to resolve touchy, controversial, and complex issues at work and at home--now available in this follow-up to the internationally popular Crucial Conversations. Behind the problems that routinely plague organizations and families, you'll find individuals who are either unwilling or unable to deal with failed promises. Others have broken rules, missed deadlines, failed to live up to commitments, or just plain behaved badly--and nobody steps up to the issue. Or they do, but do a lousy job and create a whole new set of problems. Accountability suffers and new problems spring up. New research demonstrates that these disappointments aren't just irritating, they're costly--sapping organizational performance by twenty to fifty percent and accounting for up to ninety percent of divorces. Crucial Confrontations teaches skills drawn from 10,000 hours of real-life observations to increase confidence in facing issues like: *An employee speaks to you in an insulting tone that steps crosses the line between sarcasm and insubordination. Now what?

*Your boss just committed you to a deadline you know you can't meet--and not-so-subtly hinted he doesn't want to hear complaints about it.

*Your son walks through the door sporting colorful new body art that raises your blood pressure by forty points. Speak now, pay later.

*An accountant wonders how to step up to a client who is violating the law. Can you spell unemployment?

*Family members fret over how to tell granddad that he should no longer drive his car. This is going to get ugly.

*A nurse worries about what to say to an abusive physician. She quickly remembers "how things work around here" and decides not to say anything. Everyone knows how to run for cover, or if adequately provoked, step up to these confrontations in a way that causes a real ruckus. That we have down pat. Crucial Confrontations teaches you how to deal with violated expectations in a way that solves the problem at hand, and doesn't harm the relationship--and in fact, even strengthens it. Crucial Confrontations borrows from twenty years of research involving two groups. More than 25,000 people helped the authors identify those who were most influential during crucial confrontations. They spent 10,000 hours watching these people, documented what they saw, and then trained and tested with more than 300,000 people. Second, they measured the impact of crucial confrontations improvements on organizational and team performance--the results were immediate and sustainable: twenty to fifty percent improvements in measurable performance.

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在线阅读本书

The authors of the New York Times bestseller Crucial Conversations show you how to achieve personal, team, and organizational success by healing broken promises, resolving violated expectations, and influencing bad behavior Discover skills to resolve touchy, controversial, and complex issues at work and at home--now available in this follow-up to the internationally popular Crucial Conversations. Behind the problems that routinely plague organizations and families, you'll find individuals who are either unwilling or unable to deal with failed promises. Others have broken rules, missed deadlines, failed to live up to commitments, or just plain behaved badly--and nobody steps up to the issue. Or they do, but do a lousy job and create a whole new set of problems. Accountability suffers and new problems spring up. New research demonstrates that these disappointments aren't just irritating, they're costly--sapping organizational performance by twenty to fifty percent and accounting for up to ninety percent of divorces. Crucial Confrontations teaches skills drawn from 10,000 hours of real-life observations to increase confidence in facing issues like: *An employee speaks to you in an insulting tone that steps crosses the line between sarcasm and insubordination. Now what?

*Your boss just committed you to a deadline you know you can't meet--and not-so-subtly hinted he doesn't want to hear complaints about it.

*Your son walks through the door sporting colorful new body art that raises your blood pressure by forty points. Speak now, pay later.

*An accountant wonders how to step up to a client who is violating the law. Can you spell unemployment?

*Family members fret over how to tell granddad that he should no longer drive his car. This is going to get ugly.

*A nurse worries about what to say to an abusive physician. She quickly remembers "how things work around here" and decides not to say anything. Everyone knows how to run for cover, or if adequately provoked, step up to these confrontations in a way that causes a real ruckus. That we have down pat. Crucial Confrontations teaches you how to deal with violated expectations in a way that solves the problem at hand, and doesn't harm the relationship--and in fact, even strengthens it. Crucial Confrontations borrows from twenty years of research involving two groups. More than 25,000 people helped the authors identify those who were most influential during crucial confrontations. They spent 10,000 hours watching these people, documented what they saw, and then trained and tested with more than 300,000 people. Second, they measured the impact of crucial confrontations improvements on organizational and team performance--the results were immediate and sustainable: twenty to fifty percent improvements in measurable performance.

• 作者：第11人格 发布时间：2023-01-28 10:30:42

  看的蓝莲花英版

• 作者：方若 发布时间：2016-07-23 15:51:03

  这本书我零零散散看了一年多才看完。这是因为对这本书的看重，而不是轻视。在我有空看书的时候，总是把脑力最好的时间留给它，看了一会觉得需要消化了就放开，而不敢一口气看完，那样收获会非常少。阅读难点在于，既要用心揣摩书中的每一条实际操作建议，又要同时构建自己的心智model，两者缺一不可。离开了每一条操作经验指导，model的实用性就会降低；而离开了model，所有的操作经验指导对你来说就会成为死记硬背。

• 作者：Little Hand 发布时间：2013-10-29 11:27:47

  这一本我很喜欢啊

• 作者：宝宝TWO 发布时间：2019-05-07 14:30:21

  书其实文笔很好，就是让人很看得下去，只是不是我想进步的话题

• 作者：梅文女王殿下 发布时间：2016-08-10 09:38:35

  2016.4.12 我真的是带着一种死耗，不甘心开了坑不填完的心情听完的。无数次听到放空。写得真的是太烂了啊。可能想法不错，但是讲了半天也没什么新意。如果需要这样交流，真的一巴掌呼过去了。我草，好不甘心。

• 作者：瑞尔 发布时间：2020-03-31 13:31:18

  Banal.

• 中国异闻录4 读后感

  作者：陈木尹 发布时间：2021-07-06 16:39:48

  2021-7-6

  这是异闻录的第4部了，该书延续了以赵鄂体内五珠的主线，中间穿插了许多奇闻异事，并于谢如秀，风灵矢着手探寻，解决一系列事项为穿插点。通过经历，或他人口述引出带有奇幻色彩的故事，借此批判一些封建思想和人心的复杂。该书以不同单元式的故事组成，是独立体，也是整合体。第4部交代了末街的来历，并对末街打上了一个暂时的句号。末街短暂的句号会对现实造成什么样的影响？赵鄂体内五珠的来历到底是什么？新人物 “孟”的出现？ 还是有很多伏笔的，期待下一部。。。。

• 传习录笔记|备忘

  作者：晓栋 发布时间：2023-03-20 22:07:07

  序

  《传习录》名字出处：

  《论语·学而》：曾子曰，吾日三省吾身，为人谋而不忠乎？与朋友交而不信乎？传不习乎？

  因《楞严经》里说：

  如人以手，指月示人。彼人因指，当应看月。

  所以王阳明先生起初是不大乐意言论被记录为文字的，担心众人拘泥一方，反而被误。徐爱回答的很有意思：

  惟或有时而去侧，同门之友又皆离群索居。当是之时，仪刑既远，而规切无闻，如爱之驽劣，非得先生之言时时对越警发之，其不摧堕靡废者几希矣！

  现在五百多年，唯有经过这些僵化的文字，更加驽劣的我方能学到点新知。哈哈哈，阳明先生现在估计也不会责备徐爱了吧。

  正文

  传习录整本书都是问答体的形式，在翻阅的时候，它也解答了我很多的困惑。摘录一些对目前的我有所帮助的桥段，作为今时今日的记录。在此同样采取问答的形式，提问者是我，回答者也是我。因为心即理，不假外求。向前人致敬。

  Q：大学之道，如何在亲民？我一路走来，偏见日深，标签化越发严重，城市中回村里，或者遇到其他的伙伴朋友，很难有共同语言，更遑论亲近。

  A：也许看谭乔的视频有所帮助，谭警官的说话拉家常很值得学习。如果你预设立场，不把自己真心实意地当成愚夫愚妇，贴近生活，那你没办法真的接地气。病根在一个”傲“字。

  Q：如何要立志，立什么志？

  A：要做圣人。老者安之，朋友信之，少者怀之。即使觉得不能至，也需要心向往之。用心做好每一件事，在那个时候你就是圣人。

  Q：可是有这么多好吃的好喝的好玩的，做圣人有什么意思？

  A：做圣人和好玩并不冲突。只是要你做好每一件事，每一件你觉得自己应该要做的事。你可以认真做事，并且好吃好喝好玩。只是不要被物欲遮蔽，受此影响，把该做的事情不做。

  Q：那我还是忍不住怎么办嘛？

  A：那就要学着克己，对症下药。

  Q：可是我上了班好累啊，下了班葛优瘫，哪还有力气学着做圣人？

  A：不需要你下了班专门去学。你既然要上班，从上班里的事情学，才是真的学习。比如处理事情，不因为别人应对你脾气不好，你就生气；不因为别人说话甜，你就沾沾自喜；不因为别人恳求你，你就违背自己意愿迁就答应；不因为自己事务冗杂，就随便糊弄；不能因为别人喜欢穿小鞋，就顺着别人意思来。你真正的意愿自己心里清楚，必须精细省察做自己。脱离了这些事情，学习就是空谈。

  Q：好像很有道理，我试着处理很有用。但是过几天，我老毛病就又犯了，该生气生气，该咋地咋滴。这怎么办？

  A：这个事情不能揠苗助长。只要你心里记得你的志向，你的成长就在这一进一退里。你昨天行今天不行，却非要装行，就是文过的贪念了。要实事求是。你需要常常有不以物喜、不以己悲的心态，照着良心用功，自然就会慢慢好转。

  Q：可以再说详细点嘛？

  A：比如你玩过手机，脑海里万马奔腾。你首先要息念，先安静下来静坐。静下来以后再去事里面历练，去省察克之。做事有不善的地方，就去克制掉不善的念头。务必要斩草除根。以是多用功。

  Q：我照着做了，有时候做不到脑子里就老想着，总是后悔。

  A：后悔就是你以后改正的机会。后悔很好，但改正更好。如果你执念在后悔里，你就因为后悔反而出问题了。

  Q：好像很简单的样子，我应该会了，我试试。

  A：哈哈哈，本来也不是很难。只是道高一尺魔高一丈，私欲日生，用功就要日多。

  Q：想想这样未来的路这么长要走这么多路还真是有点恐惧，害怕走不到呢。

  A：只要内省不疚，就没有什么好忧惧的。立好志，做好眼前事。就像是种树，树根种下去了，好好想灌溉施肥就好了。哪里没做好，反省反省做好就行了。

  尾声

  目前我能想到的需要我克己的地方：

  1. 张嘴就喜欢给人讲道理，没有同理心；

  2. 在意别人评价，会被别人评价影响心情；

  3. 有点小成绩就沾沾自喜；

  4. 傲，在家里或者职场有时候对别人的态度不对；

  5. 人云亦云，不肯坚持自己的想法，轻信；

  6. 嘴欠，有时候说风凉话；

  7. 嘴欠，背后偶尔会吐槽人；

  8. 嘴欠，经常会把别人不该过早透露的事情忍不住说出去；

  9. 忧惧：过于看重风险等，对未发生的事情不乐观，充满忧惧；

  10. 多悔：沉溺其中，不能自拔；

  11. 懒，我是真喜欢葛优瘫啊。但可能瘫着不洗碗，惹女朋友生气；

  12. 在意自身的一些事情。比如书里提到的” 有一学者病目，戚戚甚忧，先生曰：“尔乃贵目贱心。”

  共勉